Saturday, January 23, 2010

Level Zero

~~ Athletic Character Statistics ~~

Age: 44 years
Weight: 209.5 pounds
Cholesterol: Yes
Pulse: Variable
Gear: Newbie

I have returned from my shopping and have made the required purchases, which I describe below.

I obtained new glasses. You may wonder what that has to do with running, so let me explain. The wire frame glasses I have worn the last few years are for my geek (default) character. They fit closer to one side of my nose than the other, and that is by design. When I combine these glasses with phrases such as "Oh, that's just the Law of Cosines" my geek image is secured. For my athletic character, I chose some Nike glasses with a funky green color and their trademark swoosh. (Athletes have no fear of color or flair.) My daughter, Elaine, asked me how they could make me run faster. I don't have an answer to that question, all I know is that I practically had to go to NASA to get my coke-bottle prescription into these stylish new frames. I'm not sure I will wear these at work - I don't want to intimidate anyone.
I grabbed new foot gear. My tennis shoes were about six years old, and again, they are for my geek character. I nearly went with some sparkly gold Nike hi-tops, and Elaine was on my side, but my wife and the salesperson at Foot Action talked me into some Nike Airs.
Upon learning that I was transforming into an athlete, the salesperson also recommended PolySorb insoles for the shock that my feet would be experiencing. So, I bought those and some quarter-length socks.
Finally, I secured training. Even a zeroth level athlete needs a trainer, and I have selected Robert Ullrey's podcasts which accompany the Couch to 5K program. I chose this because it is free - I'm very tight with my money. In order to hear him, I purchased a green iPod nano (to match the glasses - athletes have more fashion sense than geeks), an armband, and ear buds guaranteed not to come loose.

In my present state, and as is common for level zero characters, I really have no business running around in public. Fortunately, we already have a sweet Landice treadmill. So, I am all set except my iPod is charging and that supposedly takes a few hours the first time. My first workout will therefore be postponed.

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